I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Actions speak louder than pants.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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