Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
The best revenge is premature balding
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
NoShamevember. You game?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
