her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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