I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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