i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Randomize
