how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
