Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize