dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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