ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
