I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Randomize
