I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
