Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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