i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
