i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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