hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
