tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
