This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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