Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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