and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
