he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
