I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Randomize
