Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
