We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
