I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
