I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
