I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
