Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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