I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
