But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
