Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
