i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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