Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
