is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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