Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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