My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
