so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Randomize