just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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