Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
