I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
