You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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