I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
