it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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