i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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