I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Drunk is a universal language darling
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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