I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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