question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
