that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
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