Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
