We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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