So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
