Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
