he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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