Your face is a jimmy john
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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