One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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