Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
