I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
this will be a night to untag.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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